How to Share Content Without Losing Your Soul

Self-Promotion, Vainglory, and the Art of Thinking of Yourself Less

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis

Last Sunday, I was honored to have my article “How Not to Play the Status Game” shared on

Ecstatic

’s Substack. For those who haven’t read it, here’s the condensed version: research finds that humans are highly motivated by status. When given the chance, we will always pursue higher status while unconsciously comparing ourselves to others. Early Christian desert monastics noticed this tendency and decided to list “vainglory” (which means “anxiety over one’s reputation”) as one of the deadliest of the deadly sins. As such, vainglory has to be fought with the same ferocity we’d fight greed or lust. Those of us in the 21^st century should understand this desire for social status so that we can learn to control it.

But word count limitations only allowed me to go a few inches deep in that last part. After publication, I received several comments from friends and Substack users wishing that the vainglory topic could’ve been expanded further. Including this one, from Anna A. Friedrich:

“I would love to read more about vainglory as it relates to Christians in publishing at this cultural moment. The “necessity” for the self-promotion of authors is so confusing and disturbing to me…I’m a writer myself, and want so badly to see and practice a baptized version of getting your material out there, without turning every moment and every online connection into a sales pitch or the incessant pursuit of a “like” or a “follow” or a subscription. Do you have thoughts along these lines?”

I love this question. I’ve been studying status psychology in relationship to Christian theology for a few years now (and, in a few more years, I’ll (hopefully) have my doctorate on the subject completed). So, I had lots of thoughts. And since I had fun with the question, I wanted to offer a broad response in essay form.

·       Writers Hate Self-Promotion: One fiction author (I think either Saunders or Franzen) recently said that 100 years ago, the publisher handled all their authors’ publicity; but nowadays, the authors have to orchestrate all their own publicity in order to get published. Which makes for an inherent tension within the writer because, as most would probably agree, their writing and creativity stems from their introverted nature. The very reason that they’re able to lock themselves in a room for hours alone typing away is the same reason self-promotion can be so painful. But unfortunately…

·       Self-Promotion Isn’t Optional: If you read all the expert opinions in this matter (I’m thinking of writing pedagogues like Nicolas Cole or Rob Fitzpatrick or the Axios guys), you’ll find a thunderous agreement that self-promotion for the contemporary writer is not optional. Today’s landscape is just not yielding crops of publishing agents eagerly scouring the Internet for unsung talents that they can do a Pretty Woman-type thing for. Were Henri Nouwen around nowadays, I’m not sure that his books would take off – at least, not to the degree they did – simply because the industry looks so different and requires that you not only write extremely well but that your public persona be enticing enough to act as its own marketing team. So then, if self-promotion is mandatory…

·       How Can We “Baptize” Our Self-Promotion? Personally, I haven’t been highly successful in “getting material out there” (I have like 12 followers on all social platforms), but I can tell you what’s worked for me. I noticed that originally after I would post an article, I would check my phone perpetually: what are people saying? Is this getting likes? Is it getting shared? And on and on and on. This feeling alone is a good sign my desires were thoroughly “unbaptized.” The biggest concern was my own social standing, not the Kingdom. Social media is essentially an automated temple to our vainglory delivered in an easy-access syringe. So, I developed the strategy of…

·       Posting It and Leaving It: In my efforts to not let vainglory metastasize over my entire spiritual life, I had to set a rule: after I posted, I wouldn’t go back on that social media to check the stats for at least 4-7 days (7 days is ideal, 4 is realistic). Which also means that, on the average week, I’m only on social media for about 15 minutes. On one end, it’s a good mental and spiritual detox from your temple of vainglory; on the other, it gets you unstuck from cycles of obsessive self-promotion. Yes, it’ll be harder to gain followers and exposure because social media algorithms prioritize content from accounts that post daily; but the trade off is just plain worth it. My soul is more important than followers. To borrow Anna Lembke’s “A” from her DOPAMINE detox acronym described in Dopamine Nation, posting something and forcing yourself to ignore it is the perfect way to practice the “(A)bstinence” step. You’re quite literally cutting off the surge of dopamine you’d be getting were you checking your phone for likes every few minutes.

Clarification: I keep slightly different rules for Substack, because it hasn’t been monetized yet and thus remains less addictive (for now). Also, I don’t find it as draining or comparison-inducing as other platforms.

Another good thing to remember is that…

·       The Opinions of Your Closest Friends Are Your Most Realistic Guide to Reality: Having close friends and/or a spouse who understand you through and through is the best compass for navigating your real social standing – and the quality of your content. They’ll offer advice to improve your content rather than internet troll style criticisms. Their opinions are the most important barometer for how you’re actually doing (i.e., what they think of your actual self is much more important than what the internet thinks about your Instagram-curated, postured self). Even better is if your friends are thoroughly unamused by your success. It’s a hidden blessing because their lack of enthusiasm keeps you joyfully grounded. And if they care for you, they’ll also help you…

·       Intentionally Reject Opportunities for Self-Promotion Whenever It’s Not Absolutely Necessary: Mark Sayers had some good thoughts about this in his book Facing Leviathan. When his tweets or opinions get picked up by major news organizations (which happens a lot because, in my opinion, he’s one of the last true geniuses), his first thought is to retweet it or share it around. But then he takes stock of what he’s doing. Would sharing this do anything tangible for the Kingdom? Or would it just be flexing? Once considered, he usually decides against sharing. He already put the content out there. Sharing someone else’s appraisal of it doesn’t serve a pragmatic purpose. Whenever it’s not absolutely necessary, we might as well avoid self-promotion. Why? Because…

·       God Seems to Reward Our Efforts to Downplay Unnecessary Self-Promotion: One amazing feature of the Asbury Revival in 2023 was that the students told Fox News, famous pastors, and big-name worship leaders that they couldn’t film, preach, or lead worship. This might’ve just been one small factor of the event’s beauty, but I personally don’t think so. In an age where status and fame and exposure have become the most coveted resource, I think God rewards those who intentionally reject it – almost like how He rewards/strengthens those who fast from food for rhythmic periods of time (Matthew 6:16-18; 17:21). Also…

·       Every Indulgence in Our Own Celebrity Is a Slight Against God’s: Basking in our own fame, even for a moment, is not a neutral indulgence like chocolate cake or a movie night. Steeping in the adoration of others always comes at God’s expense. Paul and Barnabas didn’t take moments to revel in the praise from the people of Lystra, who tried worship Paul and Barnabas for their incredible acts (get it?). They tore their clothes and rejected the praise immediately (Acts 14:8-18). As should we. Which also means we should…

·       Take the Lower Seat Whenever Possible: Take this one as literally or metaphorically as you’d like. Jesus said that when you go to a wedding feast, don’t take the seat of honor, but take the lowest place (Luke 14:7-11). The Roman world was highly stratified and used their meal gatherings as a place to show off their status. The best and brightest sat near the front, the lowest of the lows sat at the opposite side. Jesus’ advice is that, even if you’re someone of repute, you should always take the lowest seat that you can. This doesn’t mean that you should actually consider yourself as someone who’s low, but to stop assuming that you’re entitled to any level of privilege based off of your reputation. Practically speaking, this might involve literally finding bad seats – or bad parking spots, like Rich Villodas – or go out of the way to serve someone who feels inclined to serve you. However, we should also…

·       Clarify Our Goals: I’m a jack of very few trades. But some of the trades that give me a sense of meaning are writing, researching, and teaching. And I’ve gotten loads of prophetic words from trusted confidantes over the years: you will be a writer and teacher. That said, I try to honor this call by writing 2-4 hours every day besides Sabbath. Even if it never goes anywhere, I’ll at the very least feel satisfied knowing that I was faithful to the words I received. That said, this helps me clarify my goals with writing: I aim to honor God through doing what I’m ultimately supposed to. And, unfortunately, this requires at least some self-promotion because that’s just how the industry works at this point. But in order to keep the writing God-honoring, I have to learn to self-promote with as much wisdom and integrity as possible. It might seem simple, but clarifying why you’re sharing what you’re sharing helps you share with integrity. And we can discern whether we’re acting with integrity through…

·       Prayer, prayer, prayer: Before I start my writing sessions each day, I pray through Aquinas’ “A Prayer for Students.” And all throughout the writing itself I continue praying for wisdom and discernment. But for the most part, I typically pray in tongues while writing because it frees the mind to wander and get creative. Then, when I feel like a project is good to go, I’ll prayerfully post. I aim for one per week. However, this discernment stuff can get disheartening sometimes because, if I don’t feel God leading the project, then the post doesn’t go up. For a task-oriented person, this can be excruciating. The longest stretch of not feeling any Spirit-inspired leadership was three weeks. Which was tough, but so worth it because it taught me lessons about myself and grew me in my integrity. Lastly…

·       Learn the Art of Self-Forgetfulness: When Paul tells the Corinthians that he “does not even judge himself” (1 Cor. 4:6), he’s not being hyperbolic. Tim Keller comments on this verse: “Paul is saying to the Corinthians that he does not care what they think about him. He does not care what anybody thinks about him. In fact, his identity owes nothing to what people say.” It’s almost like Paul’s saying “I don't care what you think – but I don't care what I think. I have a very low opinion of your opinion of me – but I have a very low opinion of my opinion of me.” This is what Keller calls the “freedom of self-forgetfulness”: interpersonal joy doesn’t come through winning the “you’re great” verdict from the entire world; it comes from learning that the way the world thinks about you – and even the way that you think about you – is not only unimportant, but inaccurate. The only one who can make right estimations about who we are is God. And thankfully He tells us we’re beloved and well-pleased regardless of our performance or ability to achieve. Growing in humility is growing in our ability to find our whole identity in being someone who Jesus loves. The one who truly feels this way could share all the content in the world and never lose their soul. All this to say, fighting vainglory isn’t about learning to think less of ourselves but to think of ourselves less.